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On The Road To
"I Love You"

Attitude - Lose it.

Most of us somehow already have the relationship or "lack of relationship" that you deserve. At least we believe this, it's called attitude.

Trying to meet the man of your dreams, is at best, difficult. This is just something you must accept. At the same time you must also accept as hard as it is for you, it will never be THAT hard for anyone else.

And why is that? My personal theory is the "nature channel" theory. I named it that, because instead of going out and meeting people I'm at home on Saturday night watching the nature channel. Anyway did you ever notice that no matter what animal it is, when he wants to find a date he makes a beeline straight for his mate.

Do you do this? I doubt it, we are constantly putting obstacles in our way of preventing ourselves from meeting anyone.

First of you're just accept the fact you are not cool. This is trait I can instantly spot in others but can't recognize in myself. I guess mirrors somehow mask this.

Secondly don't scare people, it's true, but I've seen people who I am scared of. I mean one guy I went out with looked like an insane version of Charles Manson. Who says, "You know what today I think I'll go for the 'Charles Manson' look."

Lycra, bandanas, jackets with logos of professional sports teams, and clothes from the army surplus store, not to mention jiving to a walkman are still popular among many men. One piece of gold jewelry is cool, layers are not, unless you're Mr. T, and when's the last time you saw him? This is all wrong

So what ever the attitude is, cool, fear, or whatever just lose it.

Previously Owned persons

So you are looking for a commitment. Try a recently "divorced" person. Although there are not reliable stats for gay people, for straight people a divorced person is more than TWICE as likely to remarry again. A man divorced two or three times is nearly 90% likely to have another marriage. So if you're looking for a relationship try a recycled guy.

Divorces, gay or straight, are less about failures and more about unrealistic expectations. Or course you need to understand this isn't always going to work. A 19 year old kid is probably not going to see you as a "previously owned Lexus," and more likely like a "rent-a-wreck" that is due to be abandoned in six months.

10 Men to avoid

  1. Owns a horse but no ranch
  2. Needs downtime
  3. Works more than 40 hours AND brags about it
  4. Goes to bed at 8:30pm and wakes up at 4:30am
  5. Wakes up at 4:30am to work out
  6. His title is CEO, CFO, or BITCH
  7. Hogs the TV remote
  8. Must consult a "schedule" to spend time with you
  9. Always "eats out."
  10. Stop in the middle of a make out session to answer his cell phone

Advantages of online dating

Get to see the person in various poses in various lights, on photos. Heck maybe even naked pics.

You get to select only those from 25 - 35 years old.

If he answers you can immediately fall in love.

You learn to deal with disappointment when you find out he lied.

You may get the chance to pay THOUSANDS of dollars for this opportunity.

Naked people dancing

I never really cared to watch naked people dance, why you ask, because I can't touch them. I figure what's the point.

Until that is I actually talk to people who like this, so I asked them about it.

You see the reason they like this, is they actually believe the men dancing naked are attracted to them as individuals. No matter how many times a guy gets on stage and struts his stuff for dollar bills, there are some guys who manage to believe this man has the hots for him. Even when the man behaved stupid, rudely, bad or was cheap to the dancer he feels that dancer "wants him bad."

The mere fact that a stud was willing to get near naked and gyrate publicly at them was enough to make them feel special. The fact is naked people are either very happy, drunk or getting paid for it. But none of them are doing it to make you feel special.

Really Beautiful Guys

I'm talking about the handsome men like Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise. Now if you are serious about meeting one of these guys you must be patient and very lucky.

First of all there are no available beautiful men. They are all taken. Should a window of opportunity open they will only be on the market for ten or twenty seconds at best before someone else swoops down on them. For a guy like Darren Hayes, I suspect the window is measured in nanoseconds.

There are only two types of people that should be looking to get a really beautiful man. Those who have an obscene amount of money to spend and those who are willing to spend every cent they've saved pretending they can pull something like this off.

Truly beautiful men do not stay with you any longer than an ugly man would stay with you though. Whatever drives the ugly man away from you will certainly drive the beautiful guy off too.

The best way to deal with this is to recognize the signs of impending dumpness and dump his ass first. This isn't always easy as beautiful men are always getting hit on and offered money. So learn to find the key sign that your walking papers are about to be issued and offer him those papers first.

Sure you'll be alone but all your friends will be envious. They'll be like " You dumped HIM?"

10 Things Love Is Not

  1. Sex is not love
  2. Jealousy is not love
  3. Unrequited longing and wishing isn't love
  4. Chocolate is not love
  5. Suicide pacts are not love
  6. "Buddy Lists" are not love
  7. Stalking is not love
  8. "Good enough is not love."
  9. Martyrdom is not love.
  10. Love is not a laundry list of "What love is not."

Learn this and you're half way there, finding a man is the other half

Typical Gay Relationship

You go to the bars in hopes of meeting someone.

You ask him out trying to get laid.

It seems cheaper to move in with him .

You are thankful you can stop dating.

You decided it makes more sense to buy a house for tax advantages.

You wonder why the hell you're here and just who he is.

You wonder why you have no money of your own.

You've gained 50 pounds but hey the dog still loves you.

Both of you are now working two jobs.

The two of you have stopped fighting; you're dead to each other.

You decide to leave him, only to come home to find he beat you to it by changing the locks already.

You go to the bars in hopes of meeting someone.

Why we date younger guys

  1. Denial of death
  2. Character
  3. Control
  4. Ego
  5. Conquest
  6. Recapitulation
  7. Less demanding
  8. Ignorance is bliss
  9. Who cares
  10. Because you can

10 Reasons Most People Say I Love You

  1. In the act of passion
  2. When he is crying
  3. To get money
  4. When he expects to hear it in return
  5. To stay together till you find something better
  6. When you're wasted or drunk
  7. When you're lonely
  8. When you don't know what else to do
  9. When it makes you feel you're a "nice person"
  10. To end a fight

The Only Reason To Say I Love You

Because you WANT to.

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